Not long ago, meeting someone new meant going to an event, asking for a number, waiting days for a call, and slowly building a connection. Today, all it takes is a swipe, a follow, or a “Hey, or the most annoying; WYD 👋🏽” DM. Technology hasn’t just transformed how we work, shop, or learn — it’s reshaping how we date, flirt, and even detach.
For Gen Z and young millennials, especially in Africa’s growing urban spaces like Lagos, Port Harcourt, Uyo, and Enugu, hookup culture is no longer taboo — it’s normalised. And tech is at the centre of it all.
From dating apps to Instagram DMs, Snapchat stories, Telegram group chats, and “close friends” reels, technology is promoting a new kind of intimacy—one that’s instant, transactional, and often fleeting.
What is Hookup Culture — and What Does Tech Have to Do With It?
Hookup culture refers to casual sexual encounters or short-lived romantic connections, often with little expectation of commitment. While hookup culture isn’t new, tech has amplified its reach, speed, and anonymity.
Here’s how:
- Dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Badoo) simplify meeting potential partners into a swipe-left or right decision.
- Social media platforms blur boundaries between private and public, allowing subtle flirtation or overt sexual signalling through stories, emojis, and “likes.”
- Encrypted chats (like Snapchat, Telegram, WhatsApp) offer privacy and deniability.
- Geolocation features connect people nearby quickly and easily.
Technology has become the middleman, replacing face-to-face effort with filters, bios, and algorithms.
A Nigerian Lens: Hookup Culture Goes Digital
In Nigeria, where traditional values still hold weight, this digital shift has caused both excitement and tension.
Blessing, 24, based in Benin, says:
“On Telegram, I’m in groups where people literally say, ‘Who’s down to chill tonight?’ You drop your gender, location, and what you’re looking for. That’s it.”
These groups often blur the lines between friendship, casual dating, and sex work. And because they’re encrypted and informal, they exist outside parental oversight or societal norms.
In Enugu, Chinedu, 26, shared:
“Instagram isn’t a dating app, but people use it like one. If you post a thirst trap, someone’s in your DMs within minutes.”
For many young Nigerians, particularly those experiencing more financial and physical independence than previous generations, technology is offering freedom, but not always fulfilment.
The Rise of “Soft Life” and the Digital Hustle
Let’s be honest; in a country with staggering youth unemployment and gendered economic inequality, tech-fueled hookup culture sometimes doubles as a survival strategy.
Some women, and increasingly men, are navigating the blurred terrain of:
- Sex for favours
- Sugar arrangements
- Transactional relationships that live on WhatsApp and fade offline
The popularised “soft life” aesthetic on TikTok and Instagram — pretty cocktails, hotel mirrors, surprise money alerts — sometimes masks a deeper reality: tech is enabling quiet, coded forms of sexual commodification.
This doesn’t mean every hookup is transactional. But in a world where connection is a click away, intimacy becomes a commodity — easily bought, sold, and ghosted.
The Emotional Consequences: Loneliness in the Age of Accessibility
Technology might make it easier to meet people, but it hasn’t made it easier to form meaningful connections.
Many young people report feeling:
- Emotionally exhausted by short-term, surface-level interactions
- Disillusioned by ghosting or breadcrumbing (where someone keeps you interested with minimal effort)
- Cynical about love, relationships, and trust
Amaka, 22, in Uyo, says:
“I’ve had situationships that lasted three months on Snapchat and never translated into real life. I wasn’t even sure he knew my last name.”
This kind of intimacy-without-intimacy leads to what psychologists call “emotional burnout” — especially when tech promises connection but delivers confusion.
When Tech Becomes a Mask
Another dimension of tech-driven hookup culture is the performance aspect. Curated profiles, filtered images, witty bios — we’re not always showing up as ourselves, but as our “digital best selves.”
In this space:
- Vulnerability becomes a liability
- Transparency feels risky
- People fear judgment for wanting more than “just vibes”
As a result, it becomes safer to joke about “catching feelings” than actually admitting them.
So, What Can We Do Differently?
While tech has made meetings easier, it hasn’t necessarily made them better. But here’s how we can reclaim our digital spaces with intention:
- Define your boundaries. Before downloading another app, ask yourself: What do I actually want?
- Date consciously. Not everyone who slides into your DMs deserves your energy.
- Have offline experiences. Tech should support — not replace — human connection.
- Be honest. If you want more than a hookup, say it. And if you don’t, be upfront too.
- Normalise real conversations. Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s clarity.
It’s Not Just the Tech — It’s What We Do With It
Technology isn’t the villain. It’s a tool — one that reflects our deepest desires and discomforts. Hookup culture isn’t new, but tech has certainly given it new power, new pace, and new language.
As young people, especially women, navigate love, sex, and identity in the digital age, the goal shouldn’t be to retreat into fear or moral panic. It should be to build self-awareness, healthy boundaries, and honest intentions — whether we’re swiping for love, chatting for attention, or choosing to log off and reconnect with ourselves.
Read Also: Reasons-the-average-nigerian-uses-tech-but-doesnt-understand-it/
